Yesterday I had to do something hard… Before it happened I would have said it was the hardest thing I have done in my life. But now, after it has happened, I don’t think it was the hardest thing I have ever done, but it was hard none the less and required lots of grace from God.
We put Skye up for adoption. It was awful, I cried big ugly nasty hyperventilating tears the whole time, and daily for the last two weeks since we made our decision. And almost weekly before that as we were praying about it.
We got Skye from the humane society and were told when getting her that she was a friendly dog and would do great with everyone, including children. Well, even though we had people in our house from day one and kids visiting constantly, sister didn’t like people. Don’t get me wrong, she LOVED us, big kisses and hugs always. I know, it’s weird, but Border Collies can hug… Anyway, when it was just us in the house it was great, but the second someone else walked in, walked by, or even thought about looking in her direction, her hair would raise, she start growling, then she would lunge and bark.
It was stressful, strangers would try to pet her when we were walking, a couple were close to being bitten. Friends couldn’t even look at her when they came over because she would become super aggressive. And the neighbor kids, well we hadn’t seen them since we brought her home until last week.
Last week we watched our neighbor kids dare their friend to knock on our door while they stood in the street and then laughed as Skye charged the window and scared the living daylight out of the kid on the porch. We don’t want to be that house.
We loved Skye dearly, but we had to decide that it was no longer safe for her (or our friends) to be in our house. There were too many things that scared her and caused her to react in an unsafe way.
Last night I kept going to pet her and she wasn’t there. This morning I went to let her out of her crate and she wasn’t there. It was really really hard. But in the hard I got to tell our neighbor who doesn’t know Jesus, that it was more important to us that her kids felt safe in our house than that we keep our dog. That her family was more important. And in that moment, as we both stood crying in my driveway, I hope that she saw some of Jesus’ love.
We will get another dog. We loved having a dog. It turns out that due to a paperwork error, Skye never had a behavioral test done, so she may not have been suitable for children after all. But that doesn’t make it easier. We still bonded with her, we still loved her and it was still terribly hard to give her up. But it was more important to us that our home was a welcoming place for EVERYONE and that was simply not the reality with Skye. I pray that she is adopted by someone whose home is quieter than ours and where she feels safe.
At the end of my Bible Study today, the author talked about how we, the Church of Christ are like precious pearls whom Jesus gave his life for. But she also talked about how “pearls are the product of pain; an oyster that hasn’t been hurt does not grow a pearl.” Yesterday was painful, but I know that it was part of Jesus’ plan and that out of it, a pearl will come.
Thank you for allowing me to use this as a place to heal.