“Jealousy always has been my cross, the weakness and woundedness in me that has most often caused me to feel ugly and unloveable, like the Bad Seed. I’ve had many years of recovery and therapy, years filled with intimate and devoted friendships, yet I still struggle. I know that we someone gets a big slice of pie, it doesn’t mean there’s less for me. In fact, I know that there isn’t even a pie, that there’s plenty to go around, enough food and love and air.”
-From Grace (Eventually), by Anne Lamont
Have you ever read anything by Anne Lamont? You should. She is laugh out loud hilarious. I loved her humor. But more than being funny, I think that she hits the nail on the head when she talks about the human condition. She shares honestly about her thoughts feelings and heart. The whole time I was reading her I kept thinking, “I am not alone.”
One of my greatest desires for this little blog is to share my life in such a way that it would truly help to encourage honest community. In my real every day face-to-face life, I have found that the feeling “I am not alone,” is the greatest gift of community. The times I can walk away from a conversation feeling heard, known and understood are better for my soul than I could ever tell you. And these relationships that cultivate honest community, I believe, are the most threatening to Satan. Satan loves when he can make us feel alone. He knows that God the Creator created us to be in community, to be living in honest relationships, and he can attack our confidence best when he makes us feel as though we are all alone.
Thank you Anne for your honesty. Thank you for allowing me to finish your writing feeling like I have been heard and am known. That I am not alone. I can’t tell you how many times I have worried about the piece of pie on someone else’s plate forgetting that I have a whole pie sitting on my own lap.